Beloved Jo'burg - and these are ALL true!
You Know You're From Johannesburg When...
* The person in front of you in traffic this morning was hijacked and you got irritated because you missed the traffic light.
* While eating dinner a news item comes on TV about a family of six slaughtered in their home, and you ask someone to pass you the salt.
* You never think of taxis in terms of 'public transport'.You have a minimum of five worst taxi stories.
* While waiting at the ATM the bank is robbed by armed gunmen, but you'll be damned if you're going to lose your place in the queue.
* You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
* The last time you drove your car without swearing at someone was when you took your driving test.
* It takes you an hour and a half to drive 5km to work in the morning and you think "wow, good traffic day."
* Every time you find your car parked where you left it you are genuinely surprised.
* You can get into a four-hour argument about the quickest way out of Sunninghill after work on a Friday, but can't find Boksburg on a map.
* You consider Midrand the 'countryside'.
* What are stars?
* You have 20 different menus next to your phone.
* You can carry R350 worth of groceries in one plastic bag.
* You get a call at 4am in the morning from your buddy asking you for directions to @115... and you explain it to him not with streets, but with "landmarks"
* While going under the Caltex Star Stop Bridge on the N1 towards Joburg, you catch the first glimpse of the outline of the city, and you think - aaaah, home.
* You greet the windscreen-washing man at the robot of Glenhove and the onramp to the M1 north by his name.
* Even the police pause momentarily at a red light before driving on late at night, so as to avoid being victim of hijacking.
*You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Johannesburg.
* The person in front of you in traffic this morning was hijacked and you got irritated because you missed the traffic light.
* While eating dinner a news item comes on TV about a family of six slaughtered in their home, and you ask someone to pass you the salt.
* You never think of taxis in terms of 'public transport'.You have a minimum of five worst taxi stories.
* While waiting at the ATM the bank is robbed by armed gunmen, but you'll be damned if you're going to lose your place in the queue.
* You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
* The last time you drove your car without swearing at someone was when you took your driving test.
* It takes you an hour and a half to drive 5km to work in the morning and you think "wow, good traffic day."
* Every time you find your car parked where you left it you are genuinely surprised.
* You can get into a four-hour argument about the quickest way out of Sunninghill after work on a Friday, but can't find Boksburg on a map.
* You consider Midrand the 'countryside'.
* What are stars?
* You have 20 different menus next to your phone.
* You can carry R350 worth of groceries in one plastic bag.
* You get a call at 4am in the morning from your buddy asking you for directions to @115... and you explain it to him not with streets, but with "landmarks"
* While going under the Caltex Star Stop Bridge on the N1 towards Joburg, you catch the first glimpse of the outline of the city, and you think - aaaah, home.
* You greet the windscreen-washing man at the robot of Glenhove and the onramp to the M1 north by his name.
* Even the police pause momentarily at a red light before driving on late at night, so as to avoid being victim of hijacking.
*You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Johannesburg.
posted by Zani at 10:17 AM
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